This is called "nazai" ("making the proposal"), which is part of the betrothal process. A tea ceremony is a Chinese tradition wherein the bride and groom serve tea to their respective families, including parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles, and other esteemed elders. Ideally, you want nicer chairs for the tea drinkers to sit in. dressed bride will keep a silk fan, meaning that she brings goodness to the groom's family (the Chinese word for "fan" is homonymous to the Chinese word for "kindness"). The bride's entourage can enter the bridal room for photographs with the newlyweds. Im so glad you found it helpful, Yuet! Brides takes every opportunity to use high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. ), Step 1: Everyone assembles where the tea ceremony is being held, Step 2: Opening statement from parents of the bride and/or groom (or potentially an officiant). Sarah runs a tight itinerary! There was also a table for placing the tea set and gifts. It means: I am marrying into this family, I will show my respect by serving tea to the elders, adds Au. The parents of the bride then pray for the groom to be wise, and their daughter to be in happiness. To indicate reciprocation, the bride's family will perform the etiquette called "Hui Sheng " (or "Ya Sheng "), meaning they return part of the betrothal gifts the car, she should gently touch the tangerines and switch their places before placing a red envelope under one of them as a form of reciprocation. A Ketubah is a Jewish marriage contract signed by the couple and two witnesses. Red dates, lotus seeds, and lily are added to the tea; the first signifies luck, the second symbolizes the arrival of children, and the Chinese name of the lily flower rhymes with an expression meaning marriage longevity. The roles of preppers, runners, and servers are usually fulfilled by bridesmaids, in this case our cousins! envelope under the tea cup for the bride to collect later. Another popular choice is candied lotus seeds. Youll also need space for the couple to kneel on pillows in front of the chair, which is the customary and most respectful way for the tea to be served. It usually happens at the homes of the bride and groom (brides family at the brides home and grooms family at the grooms home). Theres quite a bit of coordination involved, so you may want to build it into your plan! The parents and in-laws are the key recipients, and sometimes other relatives such as grandparents, aunts and uncles will also take part. 12 Chinese Wedding Traditions You Need to Know, AAPI Couples On Celebrating Their Love and Traditions at Their Weddings, Ringing in the Vows: AAPI Wedding Pros on Love, Tradition, Culture, and Heritage, 13 Filipino Wedding Traditions You Need to Know, A Grand, Multi-Day Wedding with an Intimate Guest List in Florence, 9 Korean Wedding Traditions You Need to Know, 16 Mexican Wedding Traditions You Need to Know, An Easy Breakdown of Wedding Ceremony Outline, 10 Christian Wedding Ceremony Traditions You Need to Know, Everything You Need to Know About the Korean Paebaek Ceremony, 10 Common Wedding-Related Events and Parties to Know About, 43 Fascinating Wedding Traditions From Around the World. Immediately following the ceremony, the parents will usually offer a few wise words to the couple and give them lai seered envelopes containing cash, a symbol of luck and good fortune. The bride will come out from the room and hold a tray of sweet tea, led by a "good fortune woman" who is married with a healthy, living husband and sons. You dont need a dai kum jeh for this, though. Symbolizing the union of two families, it is a meaningful part of the day, typically taking place inside the couples respective family homes. 6. Other relatives can help with putting on the jewelry. And if I give a lei-si, do I give each bride and groom a lei of $8, $88 or etc to each or one big lei-di to both? Hong Kong-based Sharon Au established her eponymous wedding consultancy, providing professional dai kum jeh services, in 1993. An important part of tea brewing was making sure that it was warm, but not hot. Time and again, my worldwide web pursuits for solid recipes that I know my family will eat has landed me back here.. Symbolic imagery with the pairing of a dragon and phoenix is also ideal. Others might choose to go without it altogether. Well done! Afterwards, the mother-in-law and the bride should begin calling each other "mother" and Performing the tea ceremonyThe brides family will invite the groom and his family to sit according to their seniority, with the groom sitting at the farthest side. We will be having our tea ceremony in July. So we thought it was a good time to break down an important Chinese traditionthe Chinese wedding tea ceremonyfor couples out there who are in the midst of planning their celebrations. Before their departure, a firecracker will be ignited to symbolize the start of the ceremony. While both families can agree on the amount, the groom usually needs to pay for the tables of the grooms side and take on a lucky number. Its also an expression of gratitude from the couples part. When the tea was ready, Jen filled the ceremonial pot in the kitchen and walked it back to the tea ceremony room as the tea ceremony was already in progress. I declare that I am a wedding professional. Then we took the used teacups and placed them on a tray for Jen to run back to the kitchen for washing. Meanwhile, the groom and his relatives should put a red packet into their empty teacups and then put it on the tea tray, which is called, red packet as dowry. The bride will then collect the teacups. At an auspicious hour, the bride is ushered out of the hall (without stepping on the doorsill) supported by the groom and the Hao Ming Po. For guests of a tea ceremony, there is no formal dress code, and it is really up to the discretion of the couple. Typically a woman, the dai kum jeh guides the bride in navigating through customs. A stovetop or electric kettle for boiling water and brewing the tea. if you have larger groups), the bride and groom should serve a cup of tea together to one individual at a time. For more than 2 individuals (i.e. After the car arrives, the matchmaker will be first to alight, and the groom should be the last one to get off. Most of the men wore suits or collared shirts, with the women opting for slightly more casual summer dresses. This is really up to the discretion of the couple and the couples parents, but a quick rundown is: parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles of the couple, aunts and uncles of the parents (as desired), and optionally, siblings of the bride and groom, close first cousins, and close family friends, godparents, or parental figures. The groom's family will prepare and place the six gifts in wedding chests on the wedding day and load them onto the car (if betrothal and wedding ceremonies are held on the same day). After greeting the bride's family, the groom is to bring the bridal bouquet to the bride awaiting in the room. The water-splashing ritual takes place behind the bridal car. Leaving the grooms placeAfter the groom worships his ancestors, he and his family will carry the betrothal gifts before heading to the brides place. A polite, standard phrase is [Family member name / Chinese kinship term], please have some tea.. When a dai kum jeh is hired, she handles this part while also saying auspicious expressions. Thank you so much, Marilyn! Thank you so much for this FYI which I hurriedly googled when I learned that I am invited to a Chinese wedding tea ceremony in a few days. In the bridal room, two chairs should be arranged in advance, with the groom's black pants put on one of the chair and coins and notes placed under them. Kneeling while serving the tea is part of the etiquette, says Au. Here are 5 Kua () Designs that We Love! The bride's mother will splash a bowl or a basin of water (or rice) towards the back of the car, indicating there are no regrets as splashed water cannot be undone. Kaitlin, thank you so much for this post! And as for lei-si, you should prepare 2, 1 for bride and 1 for groom at the tea ceremony. We did dig out the family heirlooms in terms of gold jewelry. However, in Chinese tradition, the Tiger zodiac sign conflicts with wedding events. She's worked in research for nearly two decades. and downs as well as prosperity and wealth. She will also put her gifts all together and present them to the groom. In modern times, dai kum jeh also act as Chinese wedding consultants. My husband and I participated in this tradition, back in 1977, yet cant remember much protocol, smiles! In the end, though, everything went smoothly, and even our 102-year-old great grandma was very happy with all the wedding activities! The Chinese tea ceremony for Sarah and her partner Justin was also an opportunity to recognize Justins Jewish upbringing, as they paired the tea ceremony with a Ketubah signing. The bride's family will hold a banquet for relatives and friends, and gift them wedding cake boxes. After the tea ceremony, the good fortune woman will lead the bride to the room. The A wedding officiator or an elder from the groom's side will accompany the groom to light incense and make offerings to ancestors, conveying the message that the groom is going to welcome the bride and praying for a smooth process. A funny question that came up often in preparing for the tea ceremony was what the appropriate Chinese honorifics for various family members were. She will also give a young child from the groom's family a chicken leg tied with red paper, as well as a red packet. After 2020, theres a huge backlog of delayed nuptials set to happen over the next two years. Please contact team@asiaweddingnetwork.com, whatsapp +852 5976 8089, or LINE asiaweddingnetwork, for further assistance! In Hong Kong, where the majority of weddings feature a blend of Chinese and western customs, the tea ceremony for the brides side is conducted at her family home in the morning, when tradition calls for the groom and his groomsmen to go and pick her up. harmony. Lotus Seeds (, linz): These also represent fertility, or the hope of having many sons/children in the future. I really love how youve planned ahead and had basically a team of people in the background to help make the process run smoothly.
Then I (Kaitlin) poured the tea into the cups for the next round of relatives, and Kim and I passed the tea to Sarah and Justin. The groom will give him a red packet afterwards. Asia's largest online wedding resource for brides and grooms in the region. THANK YOU for ALL that you and your family does for Chinese cooking! Notoriously unable to follow a recipe (usually preferring to freestyle it), Kaitlin's the family artist, knitter, master of all things chili oil/condiments, and trailblazer of creative recipes with familiar flavors. Performing the ring ceremonyThe bride will come out of the room and sit on a high chair, while her legs should put on a short chair. Elders from the groom's side will sit in the hall as the bride serves them tea and calls them by their familial titles. The couple, often dressed in traditional wedding garments (the qun kwa for the bride, in particular), will kneel before their elders and serve them tea, with the help of attendants (usually bridesmaids). When the two sides exchange their wedding rings, the good fortune woman will say words with auspicious meanings. I think I got it on significant sale or clearance (at least 50% off; I remember being happy that my size was one of the few left). Upon the end of the banquet, the grooms side should leave first. This is because traditionally, the bride was absorbed into the mans family and was recognized as such first by the grooms family. Going from the Ketubah signing to the tea ceremony was a very intimate and touching part of the wedding day, and a wonderful way to recognize the similarities and differences between both families traditions. According to the traditional customs and etiquettes of making a betrothal proposal, a matchmaker will visit the bride's family and make the proposal on behalf of the groom's family. the left and women on the right, first making offerings to gods and then to ancestors. Andrea Lo is a Hong Kong-based freelance journalist specializing in local culture, food and drink, travel, design, and architecture. The groom will also serve glutinous rice balls for the bride's entourage. Do I give something (jewelry) to the groom? Gifts from the mother-in-law'sThe mothers of both sides will present the golden accessory and jewels as first meeting gifts. They both need to bend their middle fingers so that the ring does not slip to the bottom of the finger. According to Seven Revisions by Chinese writer Ying Lang (1487-1566) documenting current affairs and happenings in society: The tea plant cannot be transplanted, and after transplantation, it shall not live. After a given individual receives and drinks the tea, they should offer their gift of lai seered envelopesof money and/or gold jewelry for the bride and speak a few words to the couple as they desire. Address the family members you are serving tea to in kinship terms, and hand them the teacup with both hands. You could alternate families for exampleserving the brides parents, then the grooms parents, then the brides grandparents, then the grooms grandparents, etc. Interested in listing wedding packages with Asia Wedding Network. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. MORE. In the context of a modern-day wedding, the Chinese tea ceremony feels akin to a small private ceremony with just close family and friends before the bigger ceremony and reception. A fire pan (with burning coals) and a traditional ceramic roof tile should be placed in front of the doorsill of the hall. Facing the family shrine, men stand on
The wedding officiators from the bride's family sit in the hall, and the bride and the groom kneel in front of the them. Its so important to keep these traditions alive and I know it was a crash course for us so we had to share! 2. This also allowed room for family members to stand and watch. After the newlyweds enter the hall, the officiators from the groom's family will accompany them to make offerings to the groom's ancestors. Handler-Spitz, R.Seeking Truth and Exposing Falsehood in Early Modern Prose Collections, or Seeing Faces in Pansies? What an interesting and informative article. The groom's family will hold a wedding banquet to treat the friends and relatives, which marks a perfect ending of the wedding ceremony. Particularly if everyone you want to participate in the tea ceremony will be at the rehearsal dinner. The banquet marks the perfect ending of the betrothal ritual. Heres a sample of how things could go: As for exactly how the tea is served, there is etiquette involved. Are there preferred types of tea?
Then the tea ceremony can take place with each side of the family. It has given me plenty of insight for organizing a tea ceremony for my daughters up coming wedding. (This is a good time to have your photographer taking portraits with each group.) 7. If desired, you can augment the tea with dried Chinese fruits like nuts and dates and dried herbal flower teas for extra flavor. On the flipside, its an opportunity for those close family members to personally and formally express their happiness, best wishes, and congratulations to the couple. For example, the bride may serve one parent and the groom the other parent, and then they may switch so that both parents have received one cup of tea each from the bride and groom (two cups total). Any gifts went into the wedding basket for safe keeping. The groom should assist the bride get out by supporting her together with the matchmaker, who will be holding a rice sieve (or a black umbrella) above the newlyweds' heads and escorting the bride into the The couple and their families select these based on the Chinese almanac, or consultations with Feng Shui specialists. Sarah and Justin went the slightly more modern route with a peony-print high-neck red dress, and a charcoal suit with a red tie. 4. Translation, if some of your tea attendants are on the clumsy side, maybe give them another job! Worshipping ancestors After the brides family receives the betrothal gifts, the good fortune woman will ignite joss sticks in front of the ancestor tablets and hand them over to the parents of the bride, the groom and the bride. Tea is offered individually by both the bride and groom. LEAVE A MESSAGE! She will also ignite a firecracker to welcome the grooms party. There are no rules surrounding this and people choose based on personal preference, says Au. Otherwise, its seen as rude, or as if she didnt like them., When planning a tea ceremony, speak to your families about who you want to include. You can prepare the first batch of tea in advance, but you will likely need more, so adjust water temperature accordingly. After drinking the sweet tea, the drinker should place a red Kaitlin is the younger daughter/sister in The Woks of Life family. 9. The groom's family will set off a long roll of firecrackers to welcome the bride as the bridal fleet move closer to the destination. Its a big tradition (probably THE Chinese wedding tradition). The couple receives well wishes and gifts, and its an act of welcoming either the bride or the groom, thereby unifying both families. Then, the groom can lift the bridal veil, and the newlyweds will have a sip of wine with their arms intertwined. Its important for the bride to put these on right away, advises Au. For the groom, its customary to wear either a traditional Chinese red mandarin collar jacket and pants, or, if youd like to keep things more modern, a suit (often different from the wedding suit) with a red tie. The bride should sit on a high chair facing outward with her feet resting on a small, round stool in the hall of the house (if the groom is to bear the bride's family name, then the bride should face inward). There is no strict rule these days, but generally the tea is served to the Grooms family, followed by the Brides family. The matchmaker will feed them sweet soup with glutinous rice balls, longans and red dates, which denotes the sweet We also moved furniture out of the way to clear a space for chairs where the tea drinkers would sit. Arriving to the brides placeWhen the grooms car is 50 meters from the brides home, the groom will ignite a firecracker to send notice to the bride. There is no set time for this, says Au. hall of the house. of uncleanness and shattering one's willfulness. 8.
It was a mix of Bills mothers gold and jade jewelrytaken out of storage for this special occasion onlyand some gold pieces that were gifts when Sarah was born with her Chinese zodiac animal on them. NEED VENDOR DETAILS, PACKAGE DEALS, OR PRICE INFO? I always enjoy your recipes and articles. At this point in the day, most folks will be dressed or partially dressed for the wedding, or may choose to wear a separate outfit from what they plan to wear for the wedding. I have been looking everywhere for a modest red dress and cant find one that I love. What do You Wear to a Chinese Tea Ceremony? When a woman marries and brings tea as part of her dowry, we see she is loyal to one. From this passage, we get a glimpse of what tea used to symbolize in unions in those days: faithfulness from a woman to her betrothed. If your mother-in-law wanted you to kneel, then you wouldn't want to say no to that, says Au. A Chinese red tea (known in the West as a black tea) is a safe, crowd-pleasing choice. Usually, the bride is getting herself ready with the bridal party at her familys home, and the Groom and groomsmen pick her up, negotiating entrance with bridesmaids and then finally entering to partake in the tea ceremony. The elders will place red envelopes under the tea cups as a congratulatory gesture after they finish the tea whereas the bride will acknowledge their Note that the credit for most of the photos in this post (all except the one with me, Justin, and Barley) goes to our wedding photographer, Keristin Gaber of Haley Richter Photography. When Sarah was planning her wedding, one of the biggest questions on our minds was the Chinese wedding tea ceremony part of the day. It is then conducted for the grooms family at his home if the day involves the couple going there. So glad this was helpful, Lucille! When serving, you must say, [kinship term], please drink the tea.. The officiators will advise the newlyweds to live in harmony and love. The number of wedding cars can be 2 to 6, while the number of people in each car should be even; however, the numbers 4 and 8 should be avoided. Sarah and Justin then offered the tea to the tea drinkersi.e., the family members taking part in the ceremony. perfection of their union and that they will have children soon. A smaller amount of lucky money may be given in addition to a larger amount as an overall wedding gift.. The matchmaker usually introduces the grooms side to the bride first, then followed by the brides side to the groom. give her the bridal bouquet after he and the best men pass the tests and usher the bride into the hall. However, with all the hustle and bustle of weddings today, more likely than not, the whole thing takes place in one location. After the bride's mother put the bridal flower on the bride, the bride's father will put down the bride's veil. Learn how your comment data is processed. From the groom's The grooms mother will dress the bride with gold necklaces and bracelets, while the brides mother will put the gold necklace on the groom. 1-2 hours, depending on the size of the family. When bridesmaids enter the bridal room, the groom will give them red envelopes. Theres quite a bit of kitchen coordination involved in preparing the tea and getting it into the hands of the bride and groom. According to Sharon Au, drinking that tea symbolizes the parents not only recognizing but also accepting a new person into the family. A TWOL Wedding: Sarah & Justin Get Married! Where did you get your dress for the tea ceremony? Both families are involved to officially acknowledge the engagement and give their blessings, and the couple will exchange grand gifts during the engagement ceremony, before proceeding to plan the wedding. All of the nuts and fruits should be whole, as nothing symbolically should be missing or broken. You can ask a relative to be an attendant, but Au says this can sometimes be awkward if they are also recipients of the tea. No one has time or the inclination to sit there and blow on their tea so it can cool. When In some modern Chinese weddings, the tea ceremony remains one of the most significant traditions, where the newlyweds show their respect to the elders in their families, and they in turn show their acceptance of the marriage. The bride first steps over the fire pan with her right foot, and then steps on and breaks the roof tile, symbolizing the elimination Cherisse Harris is a fact-checker with a focus on lifestyle, beauty, and parenting. We provide couples with comprehensive wedding planning information, planning tools, and tons of wedding inspiration! The groom and the matchmaker should get out of the bridal car first. The couple, their parents, and close family members such as grandparents, aunts, and uncles. For many Chinese couples, activities on their wedding day are centered around the auspicious hour for them to take place. In Chinese, the expression drinking a daughter-in-laws teawhich references the tea ceremonyoften represents a wedding, which goes to show just how important this tradition is to this day. She goes on to note that this is especially so for the grooms side of the family. (As is the case with many Chinese wedding traditions, the grooms family takes precedence over the brides.) The origins of the tea ceremony go as far back as the Tang dynasty in China (618-907). We did ours in 45 minutes. I am 3rd generation Chinese American, and so refreshing to see this observed by younger brides. This is called "Bai Jiao" (literally translated as "bow to the palanquin"). ), Tea drinkers (the family members being recognized! Symbolic cash in auspicious amounts (e.g., lucky numbers like $88) for the couples future is most common.Two red envelopes should be preparedone for the bride and one for the groom. Tea runners, cup washers and tea brewers. Again, with modern day and multicultural weddings, you should certainly feel free to put your own spin on traditions that feel right for you! Not to mention Sarah got married back in June! 3. The matchmaker will count the gifts, and hand them to the brides family. Were Bill, Judy, Sarah, and Kaitlin a family of four cooks sharing our home-cooked and restaurant-style recipes. The groom can see the bride and Red Dates (, hngzo): These add sweetness to the tea and symbolize the sweetness of the couples marriage, as well as prosperity and good fortune. The bride will then give a red packet to the tribute officer. :) Thanks for your kind words. Led by the "Hao Ming Po" (literally translated as the lady with a good life), the bride will hold the tea tray with both hands to serve sweet tea to the groom's family and relatives and greet them one by one. Its outdated, but a fine way to go about things. Sarah also wore a deep green jade bangle that Justins mom had acquired on her travels to China many years ago.
The cup should always be offered with both hands, as a sign of respect. The bridal party is usually present, and bridesmaids often act as attendantsmaking the tea, handing over teacups to the couples for them to present to their relatives, washing the teaware. Enjoy the wedding! Some even kneel with their head touching the ground as a show of respect. Chinese-style teaware and cushions (for the couple to kneel comfortably on) are usually used, with the "double happiness" Chinese characterwhich symbolizes weddingsprinted on them. Grandparents who wanted to be comfortable in the summer heat wore lighter outfits. Our cousins Chris and Steph were in the kitchen brewing the tea and washing cups. The two tangerines should be saved to be peeled by the bride that evening, which will bring longevity. ! Seeking Truth and Exposing Falsehood in Early Modern Prose Collections, or Seeing Faces in Pansies. This is important for the couple to discuss with their parents and family beforehand, so there arent any awkward or confused silences! "daughter-in-law. 14 Chinese Wedding Invitations That are Unique Yet Still Traditional & Where to Get Them, Chinese Wedding Chocolate & Candy Boxes - Why They're a Must-Have Wedding Tradition, White Flower Girl Dress with Pretty Lace Design and Ballerina Style Skirt, Tirtha Uluwatu Essential Scarlett Package (30 pax), Anantara Layan Phuket Resort Layan Chapel Wedding Package (20 pax), Groom's Wedding Qun Kua/Cheongsam for Men in Black Red with Double Happiness, Please click the following declaration box. After a brief rest, the newlyweds can With tea being such a big part of Chinese culture, this is hardly a surprise, but theres more to this elegant ceremony than just a love of the infusions. My mom bought red double happiness decorations to hang and a tea set from China months ahead of time. After that, the grooms parents will offer the bride gold jewelry, most notably dragon and phoenix bangles, a traditional wedding accessory. Its not entirely up to the couple, though. In a nutshell, the brides family usually organizes and hosts this ceremony. Its an Italian brand called Chiara Boni. the bride's home accompanied by the matchmaker. The groom will put a ring on the right middle finger of the bride and the bride will also put a ring on his right middle finger.
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